Couple Therapy
Strengthening relationships under the particular pressures of life abroad
Every relationship faces difficult moments — but moving abroad has a way of bringing them to the surface faster. Maybe one of you took the job that brought you here, while the other left behind a career, friends, or family to come along. Maybe the things that used to bring you closer — a shared routine, time with mutual friends, familiar rituals — quietly disappeared somewhere along the way. Maybe you simply feel like you’re growing in different directions, and you’re not sure how to talk about it.
Couples therapy offers a space to slow down and actually talk — really talk — with someone trained to help you hear each other again. Since 2009, we’ve worked with couples navigating exactly this kind of life: international relocations, mismatched timelines for settling in, cross-cultural relationships, and the particular strain of building something shared in a place that’s still new.
What we often see in expat relationships
A pattern that comes up again and again is what we sometimes call the “adjustment gap” — one partner settles in faster, often because work provides structure, colleagues, and a reason to leave the house every day. The other partner may be left to rebuild a social life, a sense of purpose, and a routine almost from zero. Neither of you is doing anything wrong — but the gap itself can create real distance if it isn’t named and understood.
Other things that often bring couples to us: recurring arguments that seem to circle the same ground without resolution, a sense of emotional distance that’s crept in gradually, trust that’s been shaken, or simply the exhaustion of trying to hold everything together — work, a new home, a new culture, and each other — all at once.
When it’s hard to ask for help
For many couples, reaching out for therapy can feel like admitting something has gone wrong — but in our experience, the couples who come in early, before things have hardened into resentment, often do the best work. Therapy isn’t only for relationships in crisis. It’s also for couples who sense something shifting and want to address it before it grows, or who simply want a space to reconnect amid the busyness of building a life abroad.
If english isn’t your first language, or your partner’s, that’s not a barrier — many of our sessions take place in English precisely because it’s often the shared language between partners from different countries, and our therapists are experienced working this way.
We offer both in-person sessions — at our locations in The Hague, Leiden, and Amsterdam — and online sessions, for couples who travel frequently, live in different cities, or simply prefer the flexibility.
How we work together
There’s no fixed formula, because no two relationships are the same. But the work usually starts with getting to know you both — your history, what’s brought you here, and what you’re each hoping for. From there, we focus on what’s actually happening between you: the patterns, the moments that escalate, the things that go unsaid. Therapy gives you both a chance to practise communicating differently — not just talking about the relationship, but actually doing it differently, in the room and afterwards.
Some couples come to us hoping to rebuild something that feels lost. Others come because they’re not sure what they want, and need space to figure that out together — including, sometimes, whether staying together is the right choice. Both are valid reasons to be here, and we’ll meet you wherever you are.
If you and your partner feel ready to take this step — even if you’re not entirely sure what you’re hoping for yet — we’d be glad to hear from you.
